Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. If you have to fall in love with someone, fall for their personality, then the rest of everything will become beautiful. Learn from the mistakes of others. Accept me for who I am because this is me today. Being creative while posting a status on Facebook is just proof of your humor.
Keep bosting the unique quality and continue to make wow your friends, followers, and community. You may use our compilation also. I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure. No matter what you are people will still bless you, even if you are a kidnapper or a crooked politician. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you. Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. Is Google a boy or a girl? And you can do so by posting an inspirational status on your Facebook.
These are the best to make a post full of inspiration. Good, better, best. Never let it rest. When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. I may not be the best, I may not be loved by anyone but I am me. As short quotes for Facebook status is always good also these short Facebook statuses which are on this list. Really, all of them contain something big in theirs.
Though they are short they will never fall short to express a lot. Just try this! Where do you keep all of that tomato sauce? One of mine is on there… neet! Try putting this on your status if you want your friends to get a laugh.
Can I get 69 likes on this. Sorry, I just need something to match my full-time job. Eww wtf who would say tat loke ugh what if there is younger people reading thiz.
If I tell you your ass looks fat will you stop asking? A lot of people have no talent. Everything is made in china , except babies, theyre made vachina c;. Too many cmoplnimets too little space, thanks! Very good blog. Much obliged. I Love these hahahaaa! Freakin Funny i love the ladder! Well fuck u! If, all men are dogs…I guess dat just makes all women pussy cats..? Assholes and opinions everybody has one and yours stink.
These are really funny i use them for my statuses on facebook. Hey, Jay Murphy, that was pretty good lol. As if talkin to my wall is bad enuff…i have to type it on my facebook wall too. Steve Jobs is dead, you idiot; it was all over the news! Oh shyt this is so fucking funny. Awesome stuff, really appreciable, searching for that from long time.
Good list. Girl: Yhur a butthole.. This stuff is great, thanks guys! This is so hilarious. I love the justin beaver ones they seriously made my day. Nyssa Usher! Very nice jokes…. LawL love thes things but some are tooo stupid. Lovee thessee maaan ther soo funnyy.. The Justin Bieber ones r superb. The Justin Bieber ones were my favorite! Twinkle Twinkle little whore relationships come in twos, not in fours.
Twinkle Twinkle my little slut spread your cheeks and whipe your butt. Twinkle Twinkle little slut spread your cheeks so I can fuck your butt. Dang, I didnt think anybody knew that I was gay…. I got so many likes from these on FB,they had ma Lmao!
Wow, that funny! But some are too icky. My niece Mason was looking at my laptop screen!! These were soo alsome.. Omg I posted one of these statuses and got Almost 4 like in 5 minutes! This stastus with codebar is the best. This is some funny ass shit! This is awesome! I love it!! Never moon a werewolf. Ketamine — Just say nay How do deaf people know if someone is screaming or yawning? Why does everyone think my Dads are gay? I just ended a long-term relationship today.
Well some of these are really funny , Others just stupid! Lmao xD this made my day! Yo , This Wensite 2 Fye! Dinosaurs were lies, fed to us to cover up the existence of Pokemon. Your mom… bitch quit reading status and go make me a damn sandwich! This is some funny ass shit!!!
Really good website haha pissed myself just reading them!! Its funny guys remember your bra size but not your birthdate.. This comment is hacked, you can like it as many times as you like :. Ahaha dont u just live how my name and my comment coincide?
OH WOW!! Men marry becoz they are tired, women becoz they are curious;n both are disappointed; lolx;. Haha , wow , half of it really make sense! The other half ….. No offense to blondes! Oh im sorry im not perfect for you but did you ever realize that your full of flaws too?? Thats a stupid thing to say to a girl and to some girls it really offends them. This is so great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wont be impressed with science until i can download a zinger burger…:-p.
I think we have a winner… :. Is it just me, or is the ice cream machine at McDonalds always broken.. The comments are funnier than the statuses! Its Awe some!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bin Laden just updated her Facebook status to single. Definition of drowning is suffocating in water, so ye fish cant drown douche bag!! Q: What do you do for a living? Insert coin here: [] to view status. Is that what happened to you or did your mama forget to swallow. Neither should ugly people get sex — they produce ugly kids!
Food for thought: The worst fight with a fly, is in a public restroom…Move!!! The best part is…….. The bit about a skirt and skin to skin. Suffocation is not being able to breathe. Drowning is suffocation due to water or other fluid. Some good ones in there. Who cares! I get Both…;. What is wrong with you?
Haha that was kind of funny. Roses are red violets are black, girl your chest is as flat as you back. Relationships are like fat people most of them dont work out. That may be but only in heavan, those gals never leave you. Please diposit 25 cents to view my status :. This is so hilarious!!!!!
I can;t believe i used to like that guy. When life gives you AIDS, make lemon-aids. Now a tanned Ginger is a different story…. Take life as it comes in your face and runs down your chin. Phttt; love this one. You can steal my status updates if you like, but I lick every single one before I post them.
Is so cool that the Aztec predicted his birth. Violence is not the answer, it is the question and the answer is yes. Love em! Starring them in my arsenal. Just deleted friends… if you are reading this congrats my friend. Heeeheee, These are so funny!! When life gives you lemons…add tequila! If it wasnt for X i never would have cheated on my gf…. Ok ighet it! WHen life gives you lemons, eat them, and then make sour faces at life.
I wish you could be a status, so i could like you. I eat 1 skin, u eat 2 skin, i eat 3 skin,… what do u eat? I was on MSN and went to like my friends update…..
This is getting obsessive…. You coud do.. No, it means half of that one person eats it. Lol i posted all of these. Why am i reading these status posts?? Well i going to bed…..
Dicks still up. I wonder what will happen if Steve Jobs dies…. She is like Your make-up looks so pretty: lol jk it looks like a crayola raped your face!!! X is as bored as a midget in a theme park.
Tail, I watch a movie. Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. And I want to put the stick IN your ass. X just got a ticket for driver inattention. If u do ur not using it right…. I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.
Oh wow thats Lammmmeeeeee. Well played sir…well played. They go to school, then shower in the bed and sleep in the stall. Go make me a sandwich…. That charlie sheen joke is totally mine back off. Hahaha He is probably from england. Football is soccer over there. Sometimes i fill up my blow up doll with helium so its playing hard to get.
Thats so not true. Yup, we totally copied you when kicking your ass in the war. This country is due for another civil war …Nascar Fans are out of control. Leave Justin Bieber alone! Onto Facebook, you are both wrong.
I love how nobody liked your comment. Wow guys for real??? Dear Mathematics, please grow and learn to solve your own problems and not to depend on others. Getta Lyfeeeee! That is so offensive to the Lezbians!!! Lifes A bitch because if it was a slut it would be easy ;. I LOVE how you just low key called him a girl in your excuse lmfao! Roses are red Violets are blue u are my chicken wing to my bread basket 2.
Sometimes I wish the world was flat so the idiot really could fall off the edge of the Earth. In fact, when you sign up for Facebook, they should just send you one of those transparent red sheets of paper that you use in board games to reveal the word that's hidden. You could hold it over your screen and the real meaning behind the status update would appear. Here are 5 Facebook status updates, and what the person is really saying. Status update: A photo with any variation of the accompanying message: "No makeup lol"; " nomakeup"; "Make-up free dontcare whatever".
What it really means: "I'm feeling insecure so I decided to post a photo of me with less makeup than usual but a filter and very good lighting , and what I'd really like is for you to write a comment along the lines of "Wow! Status update: Something vague about friends or relationships; IE, something along the lines of: "Today I found out who my real friends are. What it really means: I want to tell people that I hate my best friend's guts, but I don't want to outright say it, so when she confronts me, I can be all, "Wait are you talking about, you psycho?
Ask me, ask me, ask me! Status update: Anything that's really mundane with the hashtag blessed. IE, "Just ran out and picked up some toilet paper blessed". What it really means: I really have nothing exciting going right now, but I want people to remember me, and I want them to think every teeny aspect of my life is meaningful to me. Status update : The non-update that just features a FourSquare location, along with tagged people.
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